This is where I keep recording information that came around after my final publication.
I have had deep concentration problems, including not being able to read or program for over a month.
*On my way back from the min-Raϵlian seminar, drug dealers were talking about how hard it was. The passenger to my right seemed to have a lot of white powder on his nose. Then I felt a tingling sensation that would move around my body and it felt very good. That lasted for about 2 weeks. I wondered if they had transferred a drug to me from that individual. Later, someone told me I had been on speed. Johnny Cash was on speed in his movie and it didn’t seem to relate.
Trying to be Jewish, I thought paper towels had letters not to be torn through on the Sabbath unless you tore at the perforation. I think I had trouble with that.
*Korn inspired me that trees were opposite of humans. Branches stretch outwards and neurons stretch inwards.
Watching a Les Miserables movie on TV, I thought I would have to use Re/Max™ to buy a house.
When I was Raϵlian, soldiers called themselves figheters, admitting they were damned, but that made me love them.
On MAD TV in graduate school, the intro made fun of me but I was pretty cool and then they said, “You are clean God.”
“When I got to what is now East Pointe, hallucinated words said it was Torah-related.” My Dad asked me if I was sure I knew what they meant.
I mentioned that I thought some things were only noticeable by the truly desperate. There was a casino with a huge game of, “throw the ball in the hole,” with a million-dollar prize. I thought a desperate person could just win it.
Once I got an email from myself while at BYU and it said, “Get Eric,” as though my dad was challenging people to take advantage of me, perhaps to save money.
In Salt Lake City, Amen™ supposedly said, ‘Go buy yourself a violin,” but when I reluctantly wrote it down it was ‘violen’ and I’m not sure what that means.
My brother became a very successful actuary, but when we played basketball the score was all wrong.
I read in an alternative Koran that if you had seen a UFO you should put dirt on your forehead to recognize you are blessed and I was able to do so.
In New York, there could be pictures that made optical illusions that would program others to make optical illusions.
More information, not as interesting:
Once my dad pointed out what I thought was the building Metallica worked from.
Some Hebrew letters are called “doubles” and I would see complex things that matched.
When the Beastie Boys said, “That’s it. That’s all. That’s all there is,” I thought they had explained everything.
In graduate school, a professor’s daughter would kick a desk and I couldn’t think.
I thought black shirts on the ground meant that I was in danger.
Gangs used violent-sounding words that could be interpreted to make deals.
Wu-Tang said, “Cipher divine,” and since divine is 182 in the phonetical alphabet I thought blink 182 was divine. “Not to let my cipher crumble,” meant to not let crumble be your password.
The movie Paddington by J.K. Rowling was supposed to create compassion for good people (or bears), but Hillary Clinton still lost.
One time a roommate at the Colony volunteered to clean up my mess when it had scary things and my drawings had created radiation.
In Sonic the Hedgehog Jim Carrey said I had a political darkside.
When playing cards with cards on our foreheads, I always knew that I had the ace and had it everytime.
I thought a dance was to kick up a bag and pick it up.
Staring at the wall, I thought that made me schizophrenic.
In, “To the five borroughs,” by the Beastie Boys, I could see marks under a bar and my dad seemed to get it.
Patterns were never exposed after I realized them.
More experiences, a little interesting:
Agent Orange had movies that he said the government had made to help him decide how to save the world.
In the movie, “Surfs up,” the penguin seemed to know I wouldn’t be wearing a contact lens, so I thought he was God/an alien.
I went to the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square. They laughed at me and I had to keep my skull from cracking to be quiet enough. They said if anyone wanted to join they would basically have to drink lethal juice and I took it later.
Raϵl always won short-wave radio contests so I thought I could do it with basketball. They told me on TV I got 8 out of like 16 or so.
When I put the rods inside and the next day the Taliban/Al Qaeda surrendered, it was like sword swallowing
The butler in the Bible story of Joseph and a cuckoo clock made me feel that my head had the wrong parts.
I was having a seizure preventing me from falling a sleep (right before), and I barely had classical music to listen to for calming myself.
People anticipating my posts on the Internet and there was nothing I could do about it.
The Beastie Boys said, “Omnipotent from my cereal bowl,” and I thought since I dunked all the cereal I was.
*“I got 99 problems” was a Jay-Z song were a school bus went by fast making the school bus letters look like Hebrew, I had to look through a hole made out of a hand, and there was a Buddha statue.
Tv channels damaged eyes (salations)
*Randomly selected pens would always be out of ink when I bought them no matter how randomly I selected them. I couldn’t get a working pen for a while.
*Coffee (Latter-day Saints are supposed to avoid it) I thought messed with the x and y chromosome and could result in someone between male and female.
*Saving electricity and plastic went to extremes.
*666 was and still is in many company logos. I often see it.
Smudged letters by mom on an envelope made me think that she was in a violent situation trying to get me help.
Memories connected in August 2020
*When I was baptized in 2018, I was told Satan would try to make my baptism seem illegitimate and that has been happening to this day in many ways, not all mental illness.
One time I thought I was the only one left watching a TV station and it damaged me and then said I should have turned it off.
Sometimes my ears got clipped; sometimes my tongue seemed to have been circumcised in the middle.
Some times I would listen to the radio and my thoughts would continuously match with the lyrics.
I once showed a message board some pictures and said they could identify me. They said I had, “that Pokemon, Full Metal Jacket thing going on.” I wasn’t into those.
Some man on a bus knew I’d be an author and told me not to sell out to the right.
In the Utah State Hospital, A Muslim said, “You’re secular!” but since I was Raϵlian, he reminded me I still believed in hell.
*My organs could pop or talk.
At a Church meeting they were trying to un-king me but my humble roommate defended me.
From a movie I thought a c and k might be switched and then later a canine was called a C-nine.
At a very important BYU football game the yard numbers themselves were symbolic.
*When Gandalf said, “Run you fools,” in the Fellowship of the Ring, he said a lot at the same time and I thought that was my chance to make people hear me say different things for a long time but I didn’t really participate.
On a related note, a Harry Potter movie was about saying one thing and people would hear another. I fell behind and lost my ability. Eminem said, “…investing in your kids ears and nesting,” which I thought was related.
*Cartoon network said I had my best friend plank, but not to get a tree disease by staring at a camera going across trees and bushes. There also should be a medical alphabet.
*From a book in my Dad’s bookshelf, holes in walls could be important and on the greatest music video I described they had them.
My Latino roommate asked me to bless his daughter but refused to tell me about her so I’d know her so I ended up cursing her in the Temple.
The Aquabats said, “Turn off the idiot box” so instead of powering off the TV, I used it to decide which way to turn.
In LA, I thought a “thought virus” transmission real?
Bye bye bye? N’ Sync made me think a conversation was no lie if it ended in 3 “byes” and Jim Cramer on Mad Money would also press the button, “buy buy buy.”
I thought an LDS talk made people feel insecure and then they had cookies in the back. I told a man, “I know what they’re eating,” and I’m not sure if he agreed with me.
From the music group, Amen, I thought “refuse” meant “re-fuse” and then president Bush said, “We refuse to live in terror,” and I thought he meant we’d reset it and continue to live that way.
Korn had a song that started, “I, I am confused.” I thought it started two people with two Is and then con-fused meant able to continue like a rope that wasn’t fused at the end.
When I was young, I saw what looked like a magic dress and my Mom said she wore it before and I thought mom had done magic
*Korn forgetting past? It seemed like they wanted us to hide all our memory for some reason like to protect it.
*When I was Raϵlian at the USH, someone who came to see me said he didn’t get paid for painting and I got him to write a letter to his boss suggesting he’d incinerate the building. I also tried to get several toothbrushes out of him which was funny.
*Inalienable rights – In the Declaration of Independence I thought this meant Aliens couldn’t protect us and we’d have to take care of ourselves (Aliens were humanity’s creators).
*Orbital and Jay Z both had songs that tried to expand your mind in a deep long progression.
In Salt Lake City a woman said that their mom fed them scriptures when they were young and I wondered if it was through food.
Which witch – I thought the words were interchangeable and tried to avoid “which.”
*Wu-Tang said, “Nothing can stop my continuous Pope.” I thought in Biology when the proteins were formed the tRNA had a cross so I thought like in the Book of Mormon where Jesus would get everyone close to Him, in a cell a part would visit all of it.
*I also thought that the 3-at-a-time DNA could be read 3 ways, starting from each one, and that it corresponded to Judaism, Christianity and Islam. I was able to explain this without people consciously noticing I thought.
The musical CATS seemed completely about exacerbating mental illness and once when I was invited to a treatment center in LA that movie made me feel uncomfortable so I didn’t go there.
*I was watching TV late one night and figured it would have to show me the simple path to survival. A guy named “Shin Fein” went to New York and killed the District Attorney of a city. They even cried for him. Thinking he was good just shows how messed up you can be with the wrong premise.
September memories
I thought Christian/christms songs were about me and then I stepped into a restaurant and thought they all wanted to see me. I moved 1 inch towards them as my reaction.
In “The Lord of the Rings,” when Gandalf said, “Next time throw yourself in the well and rid us of your stupidity,” I heard, “River see,” and “reversi.”
Once I was in a mall and a sound system told us where to look for items for Christmas. I was supposed to buy my brother a book called, “Nephi, Nephi, the scriptures are true,” but didn’t.
My Raϵlian guide was in a ham radio competition and I tried to keep my thoughts positive so he’d do well. He did very well.
Gorge Bush made a tunnel with his hand and it looked like he lit a previously invisible cigarette or formed it rather.
When I listened to audio books and missed a syllable it played two syllables in one so I could catch up.
Al Sharpton said, “Eric’s doing the electric slide,” about me wanting Trump more.
I am confused about whether I can be a Senator/write a movie; my voices always say ‘’yes.”
When thinking about mutilation, the BYU president leaned against the podium and my Sister collapsed her neck from sticking out in the back.
When Jon Stewart said, “You could have a concussion,” about falling down some stairs, I recently fell on sidewalk “stairs” and broke 2 fingers and not my head. I feel very blessed I can still use my right hand and my thumb and index finger on the left while recovering.
One time a graduate student was having trouble graduating and I said, “Kalose” which I got from the movie Cars 2 or Cars 3.
Star wars made a huge brain transition during a chemical engineering class and also at the Colony. I felt my eyes almost popped out to make way. The Star Wars movies controlled everything!
Yoda and Gordon B. Hinckley an LDS prophet helped me get a ball around me as protection.
At the Raϵlian seminar, my guide had very black eyes.
I thought the meaning of life was to fill space with letters
One time I was reading the Book of Mormon and I felt very hot while it was all about being physically dominant.
I heard when the TV was muted that there’d be an orange juice commercial in two hours. I was excited so I told my roommate and he saw it.
Football control started with the play success based on how well I read Synergetics. Trying to control football would deteriorate and when my thoughts would get too extreme someone would get injured.
A Korn song had me steal, “I,” in the middle of it.
New connections made in October:
The yahoo™ chess website was full of women with very low ratings and men with very high ones. I tried to find a group of members to hang out with but it never seemed safe. Someone said, “What is my cat doing?” about me (catatonic was user name online). A Muslim said I could be safe in a room.
In the Hampton Inn™ with my father, I thought a police car was coming to protect us from traffic that wanted to kill us.
Good earth natural foods™- the store would not tolerate me schizing… I had to think through all my actions.
A music group, “Faded Glory™,” said “I’m bruised and broken by my head on collision.” I thought I had one.
I said, “Pay u Allah” in Church to help the middle east after a police officer said that.
Once at church a drug dealer seemed to want me to buy drugs in the future (real?). The same police man warned me about it but I went.
On beastieboys.com they said the Bible was fluff, so on Cyberchase™ digit said it wasn’t.
Cops had to take me home once and I tried to get them to use differential equations to track crime.
After my baptism my bishop said that Satan would try to invalidate the baptism. That happened individually and as a church. I would doubt if I was personally ready, it mattered or my church was authoritative.
I thought there was a system at voting places so you couldn’t vote in isolation.
I thought from the Beastie Boys that I should, “Never shower,” but I did.
The United Nations required using your whole body to defend your life; a code they gave me turned out to plant a plant in my mouth
Return was an expensive word; words were taxed.
OOPS memories in November
The Beastie Boys almost said, “And if you ask me stink up the place…” I just made wherever I lived worse.
Claiming arctic… 5 countries claimed ownership of oil found in the arctic… one was done by me using a mathematical number unrelated to actually owning it… in America things were done through controlling the king; me.
A Batman™ movie was ready to go… Jim Carrey was just crouching there for days on the cover and I thought he was really crouching there waiting for me to watch. This goes with woody woodpecker.
George Bush spittle Jewish.. on a microphone at the United Nations, George Bush had to drool a little and collect it there… I thought it might be ethereal material.
Sister hymnal? My sister held a hymnal just right so all the words would change with my vision… I asked her about it recently and she said this was unintentional.
Walking through a giant B-R-A-Sh-I-Th… that happened but I can’t describe it clearly. This is the first word in the standard Torah.
Temples city run-throughs. I wanted the LDS temples to be like tech centers and prepare you for the city you were in like I’d later learn about Raelians.
Redman controlling my mind bb stance on sin. The Beastie Boys said Redman was controlling my mind so he did. They had a very cavalier attitude towards sin.
When I read a book, “Echoes and Evidences of the Book of Mormon,” a strong book, I chopped things from reading precisely as they tried to move up my leg, perhaps to kill me.
In the movie Ratatouie ™, a chef said he would pay Islamic inheritance and I couldn’t tell. There were many dictations off of how I was moving watching the movie.
A professor seemed to have left a tape recording at his door.
Twice, I thought I was controlling other drivers like a bus driver and a friend.
When I faxed my brain, I think it was in the religious building.
Salations were TV stations irritating your eyes when you couldn’t tell.
Harry Reid’s defeat politics… by tapping on a pipe I could try to unseat Harry Reid politically. My apartment was made for my stock market master’s project and the information was only on my computer, so we couldn’t find a way to communicate.
I fed the Maitreya (world teacher; a Raelian book) to a baby… where they stealing?… was Thomas Monson stealing our experience… he insulted me a little to tell me how I should be Raelian.
Cameras on screen could catch me which relates to the PBS theme where I thought animals could watch us and animals were hiding their intelligence.
Excuse me and pardon me… I didn’t want to pardon people either.
The Bee movie was supposedly the best movie according to the words changing.
The Relief Society, the largest woman’s organization and run through my Church, got power through the Torah.
The Beastie Boys “Triple Trouble” song brought me up to speed with 3 very difficult to manage, continuing events.
I bought things unofficially and then they worked; I used imaginary money too like with the million dollars I made with every Temple visit.
Yahoo chess had a kangaroo court room where all these weird things happened while I played.
December
With spellings of KoRn, I didn’t notice Korean.
I tried to make Greek Christmas patterns but didn’t know much about either.
One time my voices said if I ran my anti-virus software fully it would break Zion’s Bank™ and the next day in a commercial they said they were broken somehow.
With Hebrew there are different lettering schemes and I found them to be different creation perspectives in Raϵlism.
One time at the University of Utah, an Asian said that he was cold and I thought he had less insulation genetically.
One time the Beastie Boys said I should try tutoring math for $300/hr or $300. A scam far into the future almost caught me losing thousands of dollars involving that amount.
Again, I have had deep concentration problems, including not being able to read or program for over a month.
Pirates of the Carribean said the Book of Mormon was remarkable as in changeable and I thought when writing occurred it was like a save point and that happened in the movie.
A Virginia shooter suicided and I thought he somehow went to heaven and was talking to me encouraging me to do push-ups.
Metallica played the cymbals hard and I thought if I panicked or jerked terrible things would happen but I never did.
—-
January
David Spade with the sideburns just past the BYU dress code assured me.
Inventions were very hard to patent, and I wanted a skateboard that attached to the edge of the sidewalk and moved you quickly.
… Republicans went down the drain last… would last longer.
Line on pg. 81
At the Utah State Hospital I had a theory that the Democrat party understood that one person has to lead and the Republican party understands that everyone must go from poorest to richest.
Archeantus, Luram and Emron: I thought these names in the Book of Mormon meant that those whose letters were the most similar would probably lose elections.
“Un” was used with Unholy Ghost so I thought “Un” must mean more so.
I met a lot of Raϵlians in Utah, so I think they were pretending.
Gandalf had black eyes in the Lord of the Rings like my guide did at the Raϵlian seminar.
I wanted to be a Senator like in the movie “Wall E,” having all actions figured out from the beginning.
In the Book of Mormon excuse and know where hard words to understand broken into parts, like know into now and no.
Bjork seemed to have a very advanced Torah in her CD.
I created an alphabet for my Grandma and shared some notes from my favorite Rush song.
In the sky father situation, he told me before that the BOM controls our whole body in protection.
The dog story relates to a cat with an infected eye and did I kick it?
Ezekiel t-shirt – I had to hold two sticks apart like the LDS believe about an Ezekiel prophecy.
In politics cartman prayed to go to hell and I got to watch it after winning an election.
Depends on who’s running – I thought it would be bad for a politician to run if it meant they had scissors.
Puppet voices block schizophrenia
GBH said a prayer about books and everyone I would open had a mark and then when people said a speech there would be a p in it like it was a book.
“No more” was a powerful phrase.
“Efficiency is the devil,” was a phrase that scared me.
Satanist on phone at modus link I thought and 3 professors killed like I was a smart alek professor.
The mote in my eye in scripture was actually felt.
Along with band-aids and rubber bands, I wanted a comb and would find combs on the ground and eventually a large one.
The Book of Mormon told me I could use rings to get married and a girl named Crystal had it work terribly?
When I said, “excuse me,” sometimes people would say to please don’t use expensive words
Salt Lake guides sent me to a man with a broke sign, so I thought I’d be broken if I didn’t donate but still didn’t.
February
3 men passed me at BYU before I graduated, which I assumed meant they’d have my back.
The show 30 rock had a comment about brains being like gelatin that sounded really involved letter by letter so I thought it was strong encouragement.
One time Eminem said of Hillary Clinton, “I fed her sherbert,” and I ate hers and she lost.
“Reject and eject” were switched.
In my Master’s project I could read it and it would apply to the situation.
When I played hearts with church members it seemed my card always slipped under others.
I heard of a 5th column and thought each column was a list of prophets from a different religion.
At UCLA I emailed my LDS bishop with several addresses that I just memorized the password to and I had told him not to send spies.
Looking at Hebrew in the dark can change it.
-March-
C3p0s foot was a different color and I thought it was psychologically engineering me.
A transformers-like Cartoon I thought was improvised, and that greatly impressed and scared me.
Metallica’s “these times were meant to try men’s souls” was tri and I thought of a Hydra that grew heads when you chopped them off.
Two math professors seemed to be phrasing their words super-intelligently.
As I think I’ve mentioned, Obama talked to me frequently on TV.
Colors could affect moral feelings, but that’s common.
At my parent’s house I thought I got called on a mission to some neighborhood near me and when I got there I was 10 seconds late and a driver said, “Not on my cream.” (cream=money/cash rules everything around me)
With the stock market when I saw colors, there was an options tutorial CD that had too much red and green to track.
In campus plaza 4 “I”s carved in the street scared me.
Babies not crying and lanterns staying lit were ways I kept the bishop in check in Church from evil.
In politics, once I had some curve go into a hole and people who wanted to beat me would have to get it out.
A military commercial seemed to be about to overwhelm me so I said I wanted to be a conscientious objector and they seemed to dishonor me for not hearing the commercial out. Also, sometimes they would help me be king again.
We are not perfect parents – that’s what two parents said on TV who seemed to allow their kids to do anything.
Calculating pi with fingers – I thought this might be figured out.
April
When watching Viva La Bam he was trying to say nice things to imitate Asians but I laughed and he told me to do something painful and later my roommate did it on a video game but I thought he felt the pain for real.
Eric Haynes was a guy celebrated on TV in the Hospital. Raelians wanted people celebrated on TV but I didn’t watch because I thought it would be a trick about me.
There was a huge visual display at the Marriot Center which caused awe once.
When I was young, I would hit the wall and cry so I could ask for milk.
Something was like if one thing was said it was executed and if said twice terminated or something.
My sister Heather’s first words were, “What’s that dripping on my head?” I thought that was funny because people are born able to repel rain I thought.
The Colony said, “This is the place,” making me think grandiose thoughts.
I thought from Raelism that we should take the next 1000 years to test light including through televisions to make sure it’s safe.
Ernest P. Whirl had a movie where you could hear a ring… a ring in your ear meant your life was in danger through the government. He acted accordingly.
I stupidly thought there was one missionary discussion.
I didn’t let a man into my apartment at East Pointe because he looked evil like a Seminary video.
The Beastie Boys talked about alternate fields and clean clothes.
A batman movie had a strange way to be my guide.
In a dream, the devil got me to break 10 commandments in 10 seconds.
A chemical engineering professor said America has to do things through interacting with me.
Once I didn’t know the way to move. I would wear a shirt that says, “Remember.”
At Washington Mutual, a Jew had ripped me off. I helped a Black woman rip them off. The Jew told me he’d pay me back when it was like $1 billion.
I met the LDS Church’s investor and he seemed to be weaving how to invest into us.
When Microsoft got hacked, I actually didn’t know it the night before. When it happened I thought I had known it the night before.
My May memories
When I was doing my master’s project, I’d hear a Korn song, “You study your life away… I swear I’m gonna break it,” and the program would crash.
To this day I ask, “Am I in trouble?” because I’m so paranoid.
After an impressive speech with combining words, I met an old man talking gibberish who I thought was testing me to see if he’d help me.
I thought my dad ran all the families in my High School.
I had a shirt with a weirdly positioning collar that I thought was magic.
Once we were watching, “just a movie,'” and we had to remember a sequence of characters to save earth.
In the bom movie there was a sequence of punching each other.
On Transformers and Bruce Almighty, I thought the main character could talk like God.
In school I saw a book with a coal that represented “tav” and it would make me paralyzed.
Africans would send me emails offering billions of dollars and I saw a man in white in my rest promising money but I found out soon enough it was a scam.
Haircuts would curb voices in the hospital.
June-Aug 6 2021
The Beastie Boys said nothing looked quite like a “808” so when it was 8:08 o’ clock I thought we were suspended on nothing.
In Church they got us to look at the clock exactly every half hour on the mark.
At a Democrat Convention I saw a whale’s eye.
Rush said, “The king has kneeled to let his kingdom rise,” so I only knelt if I thought it should.
After the movie, “Happy Feet,” penguins told me “Your work hard.” That was about getting into Heaven. They also tried to get me to buy a car.
I heard that a Chemical Engineer was working on a super computer and I thought he meant his child.
I would hold my breath going into church and I started it on fire but the bishop somehow put it out.
Whatever schizophrenia is beware because it might be smarter than you – more predictive, understanding and clever.
In Metallica’s, “King nothing,” song and Korn’s, “Alone I break,” I robbed them of kingship to be the king.
There was a car commercial that said $300 so I thought that was the price if you played your cards right. Maybe it could get me to the Raelian seminar.
Did I eat everything with my eyes to control my motion?
When I was adrock they said I looked alright.
Excuse me… people or things would say to please don’t use such an expensive word.
Will Ferrell of Taledaga nights showed me green in his mouth I think to introduce me to Catholicism.
At the Utah State Hospital people thought they were soldiers in Iraq.
Was listening to Korn and Metallica like a Urim & Thummim? Sure to get you the right information with the volume and heaviness?
I was thinking about God and my neighbors said, “Yeah way.”
I heard someone give a testimony about what happened in his mind eye and made up something stupid to say.
I thought library rooms had people acting in them.
I wrote a very simple letter to Ford company on my mission.
Aug 6 – Oct 30
In the Mental Ward before the Utah State Hospital, I thought there was 1 million to 1 chances that I could survive, but I was a good Raelian and I was firm.
On yahoo there was a video of a Sargent losing his mind and I thought I was losing my mind for a while after.
The Sukkot Jewish plant smell sometimes came out of nowhere.
On my mission someone would pretend that we’d switched names, and I stole a man’s DNA in a game but for real.
You are not supposed to peel skin, but sometimes when people spoke my lip came close to or did peel.
At my parents house, my dad on the phone with Raelians having a tough time may have affected me.
In Church at my parents house, a guy in church would subtly tell people they weren’t getting saved except me for being Raelian.
In the movie, “Pursuit of Happiness,” Will Smith wanted to be in finance and I thought I was supposed to remember my financial practice problems the right way and the wrong way to rip people off. They told him to remember them both ways.
Was Korn about hiding memory so it would stay safe?
Once my jeans felt like goatskin which was Satanic.
In “To the five burroughs,” the Beastie Boys seemed to have different colored images for maximum thought representation.
I thought to get a Republican to unseat Harry Reid in Nevada (impossible), because my room was for the stock market I would have to bang a message on the pipes.
In the movie “Elf” I thought they said if you pick up a penny you either get taken care of or left alone depending on which side of the sidewalk it was on, but I didn’t remember.
“Pare” meant to peel.
In the book, “Things fall apart,” I tried for ever unsuccessfully to read just a page.
“Spirit” was “spear it.”
3 cars passing you would run you over.
They said animal sacrifice is not practiced in all of Israel, so I thought they did it with humans without practicing.
When a Rabbi said, “Sounds good,” I thought he meant sound was good.
I would do a Muslim, Jewish and Christian Sabbath 3 days at a time, and a song, “Mechanical Parrot,” would tell me when to do it. (Sometimes I pretended my way through the Jewish one)
With Raelism, I automatically memorized a dance.
One time the movie “Happy Feet was talking to me and there were 2 other people there who said they could hear it.
I thought parents couldn’t teach kids due to cults, parental rites.
In the movie Lilo and Stitch I thought it was effecting hemoglobin because a space ship was shaped that way and they said, “Read the charges,” which was dangerous or something.
Radio activity could be affected by a radio’s activity, so the earth might not be so old.
In the Book of Mormon, ‘but’ would mean when you sat and ‘year’ would mean a year from what you recognized going on.
A tv commercial said, “Just the Gordon’s fisherman,” so I acted like that’s all it was.
A plane was going to crash into me in Salt Lake City and I tried to move away; I think it landed on a roof though.
Through 2021.
The Torah had a small ‘hei’ which meant nothing changed after the 6 days of creation, and I thought that meant that the concept ‘nothing’ was able to change.
In the movie when they slid down the cliff and hit ice, I thought they were making something that only I could literally navigate.
My grandma would give me these invisible ink books and I could guess them perfectly which was very improbable.
When I played a weak player in chessmaster, I thought they were playing perfectly but then stopped when I insulted them by not playing perfectly myself.
I would listen to the names of pills and sometimes would have to make great sacrifices to get them, like sacrificing a clone in heaven by taking clonazipin.
I thought from the Beastie Boys that I should, “Never shower,” but I did. They also said, “Do me a favor, don’t touch that dial,” and I tried not to touch dials. One time I wouldn’t shut off a shower after taking it.
I gradually got the impression that song lyrics were preceded by very small noise and then it would be produced chemically or something to make you remember that lyric when it was true.
One time I would see candles in everyone’s eyes.
I thought my chemical engineering book could be tapped in a coded way and open to a different book.
I brought plates to activities instead of using paper plates because I didn’t want to fill up land fills.
On the TV, a woman said, “You can’t remember your last week?” and I couldn’t remember anything about it.
One guy was pasting things together in the dining area of the Wilkinson Center like he was in kindergarten and another person who worked in the temple was doing very rudimentary math.
Dec 12 – Feb 28 2022
Gordon B. Hinckley, at one time the LDS prophet, once said he wanted to set the record straight and told us a certain number of how few of certain animals we needed.
One time there was a channel with “The Feastie Boys” that was way too loud, but I thought watching it would help Obama. A scary guy tried to make me let go of the remote so he could grab it. He probably wanted McCain.
Satan wanted to influence me through Joseph A. Bank commercials, and some other commercials seemed to be them too.
One time I went through a big sequence of the first word in the Torah and felt I was like a bee in the BYU beehive.
I got a call from someone who said their name was, “Re he he,” and I tried not to laugh.
A Scooby-Doo book helped little kids not be afraid of periods.
A percent sign was holy like a Hebrew aleph.
Cats would make lines that Raϵl and his friend couldn’t pass on the show “My name is Earl” and I had to do that in reality.
Mar 1 – Apr 30 2022
Two big men were ready for me in a truck to go to Walmart headquarters and take over the company with me as the CEO.
Gordon B. Hinckley, a former LDS prophet, was talking about his life once on TV. He kept doing something with his lips and it seemed like I was sinning every few seconds just to watch him.
In a Batman movie, there was a mathematician who would calculate everything for his city, like who went to jail, for the city’s maximum benefit. Batman said, “He’s not going to jail.”
My mother wrote a letter about my mental health to someone and it looked like she was being attacked because it was so sloppy.
I thought to win at chess you had to also get the opponent’s king to move more to make it a proper win.
I heard about the Super Max prison. I heard the prisoners were safe from violence. I thought my grandpa Max invented it. He was just that cool of a guy.
One time I bought a lot of ramen and water and carried them a long way and the news channel was showing serious problems with the government.
Another time I watched the LDS Church channel for a very long time and then when I switched through the channels they were all violent.
One time a woman had an ethereal necklace and bracelets to make me married to her and I never saw her again.
I was watching the Nutty Professor and he was watching TV and had to manage the ratings himself for his city.
When I bought a cell phone in Salt Lake City, they told me I could program time on my cell phone, so I believed it mathematically.
May – July 2022
Consecutive chess games would often include the same scheme.
A man said he had to kill someone everyday on the way home. He said I was brave; he was too afraid to laugh.
People would seem to act like I was giving them permission to smoke so one time I yelled.
I thought I had a shadow identity which would be a perfect record that I could rely on later.
tuck everlasting – I should add that I thought I could live forever because they got up when they were shot; I thought they were really shot.
I called an undead turtle in Super Mario Bros 3 a “mummified zombie”.
HIM seemed somewhat evil so you would listen to it but feel it was evil.
Jay Leno on TV said not to spit on his cars and spit would come out of me.
Bruce Almighty Transformers displayed very powerful speech like Obama had also made.
I wondered if only some movies were made. No one would pick the other ones.
When Obama got elected Krusty had a word to stop church meetings but I forgot it; they seemed to support me.
Dedekind cuts, a mathematical concept, were mentioned in Korn.
Mark of Christ – a professor’s students felt them.
I was told I was very good at age guessing. People would say I was right.
The Beastie Boys seemed to be doing the New Testament in a song, but it ended up saying, “I’m in your crawlspace.” The wires in the picture were all twisted.
In BYU someone said they saw something with their “minds eye” and I made up that I had.
“Every time I start to believe something’s taken from me,” KoRn said and it happened to me too.
LA people who had a lasting legacy were literally stuck in their statues.
Aug-Nov 2022
“On the Beastie Boys.com message board, sometimes words were under-lighted (hallucinated print) different so we all looked super intelligent.” When I came to the Beastie Boys.com message board I fell into it like it was a signature.
Someone helped me knock ground beef in my shopping cart to try to kill my Dad.
This is not schizophrenia but when I was young and I was in trouble my Dad said he would kick me to the moon and I got excited about going. He didn’t kick me.
PBS punished my mom hard in a board game which I thought would have financial repurcussions or something.
A person barely touched me and asked if he could have the computer program I wrote.
A lady had an electrically charged skirt for informational protection.
I watched Gorillaz 19-2000 and thought the band was made by my Dad.
There was a mentally challenged missionary on my mission talking eloquently.
One time I was supposed to go under a log and to a school while children were there to vote properly.
Eminem had a music video “My Salsa” with a Hebrew Tav on the bottle at the end.
When I was the last one watching the news, there was wind on TV that damaged me.
“We are not perfect parents – that’s what two parents said on TV who seemed to allow their kids to do anything.” They would not even look.
“I thought I had to obey TV commercials and that another roommate in another apartment talked on the phone during commercials to arrange buying the commercials with members of his race.” I had to buy the commercials and could use them without the physical product.
Through 2022:
Two BYU students were learning arithmetic and pasting pieces of colored paper; I thought they were very stupid.
Related to throwing things away like names, when something went through one hole it went through others, like if you poured out a carton of milk it went through the cow at the same time.
Through February 2023:
In Campus Plaza I bought a cell phone and saw multiple hallucinations like being locked up in jail.
Metallica did a concert on skateboards on halfpipes in a dream. I thought that had happened for a while.
On Space Ghost coast to coast Satan was on the phone… just totally confusing speech.
One time a tour of BYU was coming by and they said, “It can even do Seinfeld,” and I said, “I don’t know,” like Jerry Seinfeld.
In the movie Maid in Manhattan, I thought there was a drilling through the earth to connect things, and sheets were splitting thoughts or something.
Eminem said, “more holes than an Afghan,” and I thought it meant napkin like napkins contained holes.
I just realized recently that I smelt commercials.
Zion Bank had me shaking as a warning when I worked there so I quit that day.
My sister seemed to apply the Sepher Yetzirah to control me before she went to the LDS temple.
MCDonald’s CEO or some leader was named King and when I thought it helped her she said, “I don’t care what my name was.”
Sporting events had a yearly theme for who would win.
I thought I read in a Book of Mormon that some copies had unfortunately touched the ground… that’s nowhere in the book.
I thought the air conditioning was the best in the world in the Joseph Smith Building at BYU.
I thought parents couldn’t teach kids.
Muscles were calculated exactly and some times I would look at hymnals and they had different words just visible.
Through July 3, 2023
A song made me think a virus was let out when I peed to divide America.
“Stem the evil tide” meant I had to be good before I peed.
One time my Dad got me grocery shopping very fast and I thought he was timing it.
In Church, they said in the role call someone with a last name of “Knickerbocker” and I thought the name was made up.
Every day of the week was a cumulative Sabbath based on the creation story.
Kidda music vs the Beastie Boys to the five burroughs was way schizophrenic.
I thought only some movies were ready to play at the theater and nobody saw the other ones.
A guy I thought was evil from watching an LDS video from my mission I wouldn’t let into my apartment when he was visiting a friend.
Taladega nights, Carrot top and Ceradyne were all examples of seeing strange lights in peoples eyes.
In basketball, entire seasons could be based around a theme perfectly.
Sometimes I couldn’t concentrate on scriptures until after the verses that said I was saved.
Through August 2023
I thought earlier in history, a guy would shoot a basketball better and write better because there were fewer people around. Ancient people could also see the future more easily.
Through March 9, 2024
+Some people on tv said, “We use swear words very effectively.”
+At the Colony an Asian couldn’t handle my KoRn album and was knocking on my neighbors door to try to turn it off.”
+The hornberg in the Lord of the Rings was a combination of names I knew.
+At church, I used my CDs as scripture speaking about the Terrestrial kingdom “Yes, I guess that could be one too,” the teacher replied.
+One time my sister brought her baby and the baby testified Raϵl was true, but I probably just heard it although I don’t think so. I also thought that maybe she programmed the baby to cry it out, which I thought was gross but I guess I liked.
+At the hospital there was weird radio -> I was told I was an “xyzer.” Instead of being a nerd it meant I could philosophize (xyz meaning geometric projection).
+I saw people with black eyes and spelling that could be seen when they talked like Gandalf
+Alphabet gangs used words to settle disputes.
+With a Coca Cola bottle, I would have been a billionare if I hadn’t looked at the lid. A woman from Las Vegas brought it for me.
+At a big restaurant a ham&cheese/butter roll cost $5. The cashier said, “Eric was hungry what’s your excuse?” to another customer. This is not schizophrenia but interesting.
+I would take a glance at a page to read it.